The Turnapril 7, 2018
Awakening brings a period in which a long neglected undertone surfaces. Just 'above' the Stillness fear appears to determine the attitude. It becomes clear that the mind is in denial and that all kinds of things evoke anger and resistance, because they remind the mind of the neglected under-layer.
It becomes apparent that many activities and fascinations stem from unresolved past and, in fact, serve as a diversion to avoid facing the fear. Circumstances have to bring fulfilment and usually there is disappointment because this often fails.
Mind looks for fulfilment in the relation, the function, the job, in success, recognition, possession, or status… attention is directed outward, to the person or happening which has to deliver the fulfilment.
The Fulfilment of Being
Awakening brings a wondrous turn: no longer mind needs circumstances for pleasure and fulfilment, however… the Light of realized true Nature - the Fulfilment of Being - flows into the circumstances.
The Turn is the result of realizing True Nature. The mind stops and there is a deep sense of the Directness of Awareness… a sensing - prior to word or concept - that this timeless Being is your in-dividable Truthfulness, the Truth to which everything appears, the Truth which appears as everything.
After the Turn everything is embraced in Openness. Under fear you discover lostness, hate, inferiority, incapacity, desperation… All this has the idea of a separate 'me' in common… a 'me' that doesn't know what to do with its separateness and the place it has to take in the world, a 'me' to which a lot of wrong-doing has been done, a 'me' that is very indignant and upset.
Mind identifies with the body, with emotions and thoughts, tries to hide its unworthiness and is terrified that this basis will be noticed. A psychological building is raised around the unworthiness, a building that needs maintenance and is in constant danger of being demolished.
In the mind a tone of being hurt reigns, from which aggressiveness rises. Fulfilment has to come from settlement, revenge, retaliation… mind is in a state of self-banishment, a state of hypnoses. Denial and indifference is unconsciously applied, to be able to play 'the game of pretending'.
Being is not an attitude
Later on, the 'identity-construction' is being modelled with methods and techniques and urged to let go of unwanted aspects. There is a lot of investment in the false self… until it is discovered that Being is not an attitude, and that attitudes belong to the mind that sees itself as a separate person.
The Turn, that comes with Awakening, brings a willingness to break the fleeing in 'spiritual' practices: fear is welcomed and embraced. The touching Activeness of the silent Light reveals itself. Precisely by facing 'things' and truly allowing them, the Light can pierce through in the mind and they solve.
The world is in Consciousness… I is the Light in the world. Consciousness is the one, in-dividable Self, God, the Source… the World is an appearance of that one Self. Waking, dreaming and deep sleep appear to the one Consciousness. Consciousness isn't a state of being, it is the one Self-luminous.
After recognizing your true Nature the mind keeps on obeying its old habits. You can however - when a habit is triggered - remember the mind of this Truth-Being which you are. You can ask the inner question 'to whom does this appear?' This question immediately makes aware of That which is aware and always shines unharmed in Truth.
In stead of engaging with what appears, attention rests in Awareness. What appears gets space, loses its load and eventually also its separateness. This illustrates the Surrender, which accompanies Awakening… the breaking open of resistance, in which the idea of the doer - the separate 'me' - evaporates.
Fulfilment flows into the role, without it being an action of a somebody.