spiritual exhaustion

Spiritual exhaustion

december 10, 2021

Early in childhood we learn to suppress certain emotions and feelings - like fear, grieve, insecurity and doubt - and put something else in front of it. The mind specializes in denial and pretence.

Identification with the form takes place and the mind is convinced that a satisfied, confident attitude is the condition for being accepted in the world. More and more it is confirmed that 'the self' with all its fears and uncertainties isn't good enough.

The mind thinks it can fix the uncertainty and under-appreciation with good achievements and success, and makes great effort to accomplish that. High purposes are set and there is a lot of tension in order not to make mistakes.

Mind gets very accustomed to this strategy of denial and pretence, and is unaware that the mechanism is active all the time. The mind is totally captivated by its own incantation.

Insecurity, grieve and desperation are not allowed to be seen by the surrounding, and also the shame that evolves when it cannot be hidden must be suppressed. All this requires an enormous effort, which causes spiritual exhaustion.

This must also be kept under control, because (spiritual) exhaustion is seen as proof that something went wrong. In the mean time fuses get shorter and toes longer.

Eventually exhaustion can't be avoided any more… it present itself in full intensity. Even then exhaustion often is numbed in various ways, so the mind can keep on going. Until that also isn't working any more and exhaustion causes burn-out or a mental breakdown.

The Original Being Home

Sometimes there is a willingness to accept the exhaustion. By truly facing exhaustion, denial and the underlying emotions, it can be discovered that pushing away and denial actually is a search… a search for Peace, God or Light… a search for the security of the original Being Home, where the mind surrenders completely to the Direct Being.

In the middle of exhaustion and despair, in the middle of suppressed grieve, it is realized that the security of the original Being Home is always the case and that it is never gone. In recognition of this Originality, also the concept of security falls away, because the searcher turns out to be one with the Peace it is searching for.

In the Recognizing, identification with the body breaks open and the true Nature of Peace is realized. Theme's, tendencies, patterns, habits and processes… they are welcome and aren't seen any more as negative aspects of a damaged self which need to be conquered or solved.

In the unconditional Light of the recognized true Nature, in patiently Noticing, also the karmic tendencies and habits change in benign properties… in loving.

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