Sense of ExistenceJuly 4, 2019
During the process of becoming aware, there will be a moment in which the Directness of Existence is realized deeply. In this timeless moment the mind becomes completely still and is no more mind.
Being is aware of itself as a Directness, and realises that. Existence and Consciousness - Being and knowing - turn out to be one. All self-descriptions and ideas about 'me' are gone, what stays is an unimaginably peaceful and unchanging Stillness… there is no more self that can be described.
One of the most fundamental aspects of the sense of Existence may be the realisation that existence is not subject to time or change, and birth and death are phenomena which belong to the world of forms.
This realisation brings in an enormous shift of identity. Identification with the form breaks open… mind realises that it is neither the body, nor the psychological form, nor an energy-form that travels through time.
Forms change, Consciousness is unchanging and timelessly the Stillness to which time and change appear. The concept eternal life gets its true meaning: in stead of 'forever lasting ín time', it reveals itself as the direct, time-less Existence, 'the Existence that is befóre time'.
Usually mind unconsciously identifies with the form, looks from there to circumstances, and calls that 'existence'. This habit stops in this timeless moment of Realisation, because suddenly it is clear that Existence is aware óf circumstances. This realisation also brings the revelation that Existence, Consciousness and God are one and the same.*
Now, Openness and Light
The breaking open of the mind brings more fundamental revelations. There is the discovery of the Now, the realisation of Openness, and the experience of Light.
The Now is this direct Being, where time does not exist. The Now is open and spacious, an absolute absence of borders, dimensions or proportions.
Openness, or Spaciousness, is something different than the physical space of a room, a sphere or the cosmos. Openness is a Being which is completely free. Free in the sense of absolutely without something else, a Being without expectation, demand or judgement, without past or future.
Consciousness proves self-luminous, a Light-bringing Truth. This Light isn't the light like we know it from the sun or a lamp, but the Presence which Consciousness is.
Prior to the deep realisation of the Directness of Existence, usually there is a period of great despair and confusion. Often there is intense fear and an increase of resistance.
What may cause a big smile during the realisation of Existence, is the insight that I is not a separate something that is born and then dies. In the sense of Existence, fear of death dissolves and changes the concept soul from a separate something into ensoulment, an ensouled actuality.
The breaking open of the identity
In the Light there is a sense of the relativity of the role playing, which is ensouled spontaneously from the Light. The mind is being guided, as it were, with unconditional Stillness in seeing through the identification with the role and her inclinations, patterns, conditionings and convictions.
The seeking safety and grip in the role stops, because it is realised that Consciousness cannot get lost and is already home. Suddenly it is completely clear that Consciousness comes from nowhere and doesn't go anywhere.
In stead of trying to make the form immortal, it is fathomed that Consciousness - the true I - is prior to time and that the concept of (im)mortality cannot be applied to Consciousness.
It is also clear that the 'I' doesn't have to take the effort to earn 'the heavenly peace' later on. This Peace is here now. That is what Jesus meant with 'Whoever finds me, finds eternal Life'. With 'me' Jesus did not refer to the historical Jesus, but to the true Nature of timeless Consciousness. The eternal life and Peace is one, here now, the Kingdom of God… the direct Existence, here, now, timelessly Now.*
The sense of Existence brings another shift. First there is the laborious struggle, with which the person tries to rid itself of 'deficiencies', in order not to make the same mistakes over and over again and to be proud of itself. It battles against unworthiness and impotence, and tries with all its might to improve its alleged self.
Then, from the direct Being, a wondrous affection appears, with which the mind - in the intensity of its struggle - is pointed again and again to its true Nature of direct Awareness. In the Light of this Presence the 'deficiencies' are perfectly welcome and the mind is flooded with unconditional Stillness.
More and more attention drops back into the Presence of Now… more and more there is the self-activeness of this Presence, in which all peculiarities are embraced unconditionally. In stead of the struggle - to get rid of sadness, fear, uncertainty or lostness - there is the unconditional Stillness in which everything is welcome and is saturated with Truthfulness.
Misconceptions, conditionings, programmings and assumptions transform in this open Stillness, and peculiarities turn out to be openings through which Consciousness can express itself in a unique way.
* Existence Consciousness Peace - Sat Chit Ananda - The One.