Resitance and indignationapril 12, 2013
Indignation often comes with resistance. It is able to pose as 'refined' forms that are almost not recognizable as indignation. They seem to have the appearance of open, just and noble. Patient perception however, reveals the hidden tone.
Usually there is a basis of envy, retaliation and damage in the psychological self image. The sense of being isn't a direct open Being (any more), but attention, frozen in an imagined identity. On top of this injured self image the disguise of benevolent kindness can be held up, yet the foundation is secretly based on retaliation.
It is stunning how divers missions of revenge are being camouflaged. Often good intentions come with grim bitterness and a demand for obedience or submission. Saying a clear 'no' to such a tone can evoke great anger, because unconsciously the mission for retaliation seems hindered and the 'dignity' appears to lessen.
It seems difficult to recognize this tone as an appearance in Consciousness, in stead of holding on to it as identity, as what I am. This is because fear wants to keep the underlying 'damage' out of the direct experience. 'Turning around', and welcoming the injury in Openness enables the source of the mission to drop away. But ego-activity doesn't want to give up the mission, because it has to bring restoration of honor and respect… to let go of that is the same as failing.
On this 'juncture' of fighting or being open, a person seems to struggle. The habit of unconscious blaming and dissatisfaction can be recognized. Seeing this reveals how the mind fills with mentality and emotions based on the identification with a habit, an attitude… the misconception that 'I' is an actual form, which either does something or to which something is done.
On this 'juncture' of staying angry or being open and feeling, indignation can be hold on to for a very long time. Many mechanisms in 'psychological society' appeal to this fear-driven attitude. They serve concealed interests and promise growth and profit as a come-on. To let go of the mission robs the ego of its possibility to become 'better, more important, more powerful…'
In patience and the realization of Light, the artificial attitude can come to rest. This happens when the under-layer isn't seen as threatening anymore, and in the middle of 'injury' Presence is realized. This is Truthfulness, which always is prior to whatever experience… In this present Directness the perceived dissolves and Stillness is revealed as undamaged.
Through the fire in the dark night… broke down my old pride.