Awareness

Identity and Feeling

Februari 28, 2012

In childhood identification takes place very quickly. The child learns 'how it feels' to translate into 'Being'. 'How it feels' often is the experience of a communal family-tone. This tone is the mental voice of the collective family-field. This is being fed by the commentary of the family-members… mental commentary from the separate 'I', on what it feels like to be in 'the world'.

Unconsciously the child minutely picks up on this tone. It learns, just like the family-members, to re-act from feelings that arise through belief in the commentary. It seems, via identification with the feeling, if Being is very unpleasant. Often another habit is copied, to withdraw attention into a fantasy-world. This cocoon has as a basis the denial of discord.

Later on this can't be suppressed anymore and rises as loneliness and fear for contact. This was denied for very long and compensated with distraction, usually in the form of the search for happiness. Attention is lured away from the confrontation with the underlying loneliness.

 XVI - The Tower… End of the delusion

Then the commentary-voice is recognized as a bitter, complaining undertone. This is not allowed to be seen, because the precious family-identity is at stake. A mask of suggested dignity has to hide the family-tone of discord about 'being there, in a bad world'.

Anger - defense - theatricals

Suddenly it is realized that anger has to defend 'the describable identity', where fear for Being keeps attention imprisoned in 'the story' of the identity. These theatricals must be kept 'alive' and honored also, to be able to keep on feeding the tone of discord. This seems necessary to guarantee distance between 'me' and 'the world'.

The story is based on belief in a separate, autonomously operating, qualifiable 'I'. This imaginary person turns out to be a habit, of constantly imagining the direct Being as a describable 'self' that gathers experiences. Recognition of directness - or Openness - dismantles the shadow-self and brings awareness of Life - Love - Light… or the one Being.

Being has plenty of space for emotions and feelings; it is totally open to what presents itself. This Openness is true nature, or That, which doesn't change and isn't a describable object in time.

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