The feeling of being separated from Life…

Identification and Fixation

June 19, 2011

Consciousness is able to direct itself. This is called focus, or attention. When there's no danger, consciousness is playful and relaxed. Inspiration can naturally 'arise' to be received. There's no separation or fearful 'me' that - through control - wants to manipulate in order to stay fixated on an end goal. Consciousness and inspiration are not experienced as divided.

In deep sleep attention is actually absent or resting as Stillness. There is neither mind activity, nor a suggestion of 'self', nor is there a sense of the world or tasks, which 'I' has to take care of.

Unnoticed consciousness gets focused in the morning: attention fixates on a thought that through believe gets infused with emotional and mental weight. A thought movement with an intention evolves. Identification is the process of imagining a 'self' in this movement.

'I' has to reach the goal in order to discharge, fulfillment is the reward. This unconscious survival is mechanical. 'What is' stays unnoticed, 'what perceives'1 seems forgotten. Fixation of attention on a goal is a habit, control the means to manipulate the development and keep the world at a distance. This is based on fear of scarcity - biological survival, or identification with the body.

Consciousness is lured in an 'outward' directed focus. Identification happens with the idea that self-value can be found in the world. When attention is followed back 'inward' consciousness discovers the unnamable Truthfulness. The separated self turns out to be non-existing.

The 'I' in the focus is also called the ego. It can be recognized very easily, in that it always wants to be right. It can not afford to be wrong, because with that the 'foundation' of the movement falls away and shame will surely follow. (psychological devaluation)

Fixation has no sense of space, openness or the here and now. The weight of it feels as a real 'me', which has interest in the fulfillment of the goal… the self-value seems dependant on it and to increase by it. Control is necessary to guard the development. The world is fearfully monitored to be able to anticipate danger in the form of opposition.

This movement often has judgement to 'what is' as undertone. 'What is' is being watched from 'how it should be'. This is already tense and drenched with a self-importance, which through objectification2 and identification3 makes itself dependant on circumstances.

The nervous system reacts to this psychological delusion. In the body this can be experienced as contracted tension. The 'me' judges this as a confirmation of its starting point (something is not good) and doesn't realize that it has landed in its own projection.

The imaginary 'me' is resistance… to projections that happen from the same I-illusion. An image is made of 'what is'. this represents the translation from consciousness, which 'looks' from the distortion of the phantom-self. Existential fear divides the one Flow of Life in describable parts to determine whether they contribute to the interests of 'me'.

The 'me' struggles on an imagined time-line, where an interpreted past is the driving force to a future destination. consciousness seems to move along this time-line, unaware of the underlying Stillness, the Openness, or direct experience of life.

From this interpretation of what seemed to happen, motivation is drawn, like revenge, retribution, lust for power and the need for safety. In stead of truly feeling and seeing through the me-construction, the tendency toward fighting for 'justice' looks very appealing.

On this drone of discontent sub-identification can happen. Existential fear projects suspicions on everything it 'sees'. the projections evoke defending thoughts, identification takes place, the belly tightens and 'the other' seems the enemy. this mechanism can be perceived, whereby attention stays in rest and defense or separation doesn't get momentum.

Fixation can also manifest as enthusiasm. The anticipation of 'nice' experiences evokes 'happy' feelings. The sense of being doesn't realize that enthusiasm is used as a diversion from 'what is'. Actually this is a flight from the directness of Life into an imagined projection of life.

Lifetimes are spent fixated on imaginary missions… without having experienced the Openness of here and now. Things will be right if 'I' has reached fulfillment. Fulfillment4 - here - is how a 'me' sees itself standing out in an imagined world, which is different than how it is now. Attention is drawn away from 'what is' and survives in a fantasy world.

Pride is also able to produce a concealed way of separation. Believe, which ascribes actions and insights to the imaginary 'me', subtly lures the sense of being in an arrogant superiority. Cold pride, in the form of denial, hides behind a feeling of injustice, which once again revolves around a 'me' that feels wronged… and wants to be right in that.

The effect direct experience of Openness has on mental activities is freeing - due to the falling away of identity walls - as well as benevolent, and dismantling the habits, misconceptions and patterns with which the walls were kept in tact.

'Naked Being' is recognized as the natural Being that needs no protection. Openness is not a somebody that is naked. the many masks with which the habit of concealing wants to safeguard itself are seen. Concealing feeds off fear of the shadow self… fear for dismantling.

This Openness is what is also called true nature, or the Stillness of Awareness. It is this Presence that is empty in itself, which is aware of mental activity. Direct experience of Stillness is the realization to be That. There's awareness of the unnamable, which as spacious, loving5 presence is the Flow of Life.

Openness doesn't mean that intentions are bad or unnecessary. Intentions get a different tone after recognition of 'objectification and identification'. They become infused with emptiness and Love. Intention is no more the defender of the assumed value of 'me'.

Being is experienced as That, which - conscious of temporary phenomena - always is the primary awaring… Being is always now and whole. Clinging to ideas of becoming (better) ceased. With that intention changes in ensoulment… timeless com-passion conquers temporary fear.

1 - What perceives is consciousness which 'rises' from Stillness. Stillness is also called 'the blank screen', the screen on which everything appears. This 'screen' stays - just like a movie screen - free of the apparent movements projected on it.

2 - Objectification is believing an appearance to exist separate from the whole, and moving from an autonomous, inner essence with a separate meaning. This can be a thought, emotion, feeling, perception, memory, vision, sensation, body, etc. Direct experience indicates that nothing is apart from the whole and that it's impossible to tell where something ends and something else begins. This seems to happen only in thoughts, through objectification and projecting meaning on 'objects'. in direct experience this loses its validity. It's like waves and sea. The wave is water, just like the sea. The outer characteristics of the wave are temporary and in constant motion, which happens flowingly and spontaneous. Wave and sea are one and 'different' in thought only.

3 - Identification is consciousness identifying with a thought, emotion, feeling, sensation or body. It's not somebody doing something, but a spontaneous happening that can be perceived. This is how habits and patterns are seen through, as well as the interests that are served with it. Interests are connected to an identity, which owes its imaginary existence to convictions. These are stipulated with intentions, making the 'me' that seems to be there in the conviction feel real. This identity needs the objectifying, to divide everything in good and bad. In this imagined world it can pretend to be the imaginable god… 'me' the creator.

4 - Fulfillment, here, is meant as the end-target of the sense of being that sees itself as a separate entity. consciousness seems to be an object with an essence and an intention. Fixation in that separation makes it difficult to be aware of the open and undamageable Being. The sense of being seems to swirl in a stream of thought that feeds on believe. It looks like there will be meaning and value when the essence comes to fulfillment. At the basis of this imaginary movement there are always inherited ideas. They keep the sense of being hostage in the conviction that it is a describable form, with a particular, set potency, that has to be fulfilled. The value of Stillness and Being isn't recognized as the intelligence of Life. It feels as if 'me' has to look for a plan or a goal, while Life flows by unnoticed.

5 - Loving doesn't mean 'meeting the ideals that are cherished by separate thinking'. Loving is a word given to something that is not a something and stays completely empty of Itself. Through that It is capable of being aware from emptiness, while being apart from and one with everything at the same time. This is threatening for the false self. It defends itself, because it feels attacked in it's masquerades. Being seems to become unsafe, in the sense that giving believe to delusion isn't possible anymore.

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